Yeah, now is the fucking time...

There is a lot of swearing in this one.

Sorry...

(I limited myself to the word fuck for what it's worth)

You want fucking gun control? I'll give you fucking gun control and the fuckers at the NRA won't have any fucking legitimate argument against it because the fucking Constitution says so.

(... bunch of dumbfucks...)

No, we are not repealing the Second Amendment. Too many old white fuckers think it's how they're going to protect themselves from all the fuckers of color out there so let’s just drop that idea ok? It's not worth your time.

Here's what we do instead. Everyone can own a fucking gun. It's there in the fucking Constitution. Fine. Anyone can take their sorry butt down to Walmart and purchase themselves a nice AR-fuckity-fuck-15. Good on you mother fucker. Now get your ugly fucking butt down to the nearest National Guard office and report for duty. You just fucking joined the army, you fuck.

Yeah, because here's the thing. Congress shall make no law prohibiting gun ownership but there is that fucking clause at the beginning of the amendment that Mr. Wayne "Dipfuck" LaPierre keeps leaving out of his deranged little rants. Congress can regulate the fuck out of militias and they can pass a law that says the National Guard is a fucking militia and everyone who bought themselves any fucking weapon that can shoot faster than a 16th century matchlock has to join the fucking army.

National Guard doesn't want your flabby candyfuck butt? Well, that's not Congress' problem. The Chief of the National Guard Bureau is a proper fucking soldier and he is going to do his fucking job and make the law work if we the people tell him to. You don't want to join the fucking army? Well, fuck you! Congress can make any the fuck law it wants to regulate militias and if you get thrown in jail for not reporting for duty like the fucking law says then it's not because you own a fucking gun. (You unpatriotic fuck.)

You want to own a gun? Have the discipline and honor to go serve your fucking country. And no, running around in the woods or hanging out at the gun range waving your flags with your fucking ignorant buddies doesn’t count. You can do that in your spare time after a proper fucking professional has taught you how to use your weapon.

P.S. Wondering what we do about folks with mental health issues who want guns? We properly fund the Department of Health and Human Services and the Office of the Surgeon General and tell them to work on the problem. And you rich people who don’t want to pay taxes so we can afford all this? Contribute something more to your country than just blowing up the economy every decade or so. (You unpatriotic fucks.)